This blog is more or less dead and this is my weak attempt to sprinkle some water on a parched land. Looking back, I started this blog to tell myself I’m strong, creative and there is meaning to everything that is happening in life even when there was nothing positive going on at that time. Now that I’m on a memory lane thinking about the old days, writing this post is hard, I’m consciously trying to make words fit, short and meaningful.
School was hard – trying to find where I fit in especially since it was hard living a ‘Christian’ lifestyle and still remain cool; college was dangerous especially since I fit in and lived like someone I’m not, giving up on who I really was and things that mattered to me. After graduating from college with a heartbreak, it took a while for me to wear off the person I became and discover for myself who I’d want to be and do things that gave me joy and peace that was there to stay.
So here are a few things that gave me a sense of direction and hopefully may help you decide on what should matter to you:
I’m not really an extrovert and can’t really talk to people all the time. I need my space and prefer spending time alone with myself. Having said that, I can’t help but surrender to the fact that true joy comes from associating with people, talking to them and living in a community. We were meant to live together, create together, face the world and its struggles together – we were never meant to be alone and nobody deserves to be alone. There’s a beauty associated with giving away what I have in exchange for a smile on someone’s face. It takes a great deal of effort for me to actually spend myself for others but I keep coming to the same realization every single time; when I truly spend myself, I live a lot more, I’m much happier and live wholeheartedly. There is an African word for this, ‘Ubuntu‘ meaning ‘I exist because we are‘.
The Father chose to bankrupt heaven for our sake by spending Himself for us, sending Jesus for us. When we too live with that purpose, we become more like out Father and fulfill what we’ve been called for.